June 2023 Newsletter

Jokes and Reflections

Small Town Horrors

THIS TOWN IS SO SMALL…

…the city jail is called Amoeba because it only has one cell.

…the New Year’s baby was born in October.

…there’s no place to go that you shouldn’t.

…Main Street is one block long and dead ends in both directions.

…Second Street is in the next town over.

…the ZIP code is a fraction.

…a “Night on the Town” takes only 11 minutes.

Some Moaners

Excuse me, I ordered a dozen bees, but you gave me thirteen.
That’s a free bee

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In Athens, no one wakes before noon.
Why is that?
Dawn is tough on Greece.

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Did you hear about Roy down on the corner selling tents for quarter?
No.
Yes, they call him Quarter Roy

A Mother’s Love

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper and handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his Mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

For cutting the grass: $5.00

For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00

For going to the store for you: $.50

Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went shopping: $.25

Taking out the garbage: $1.00

For getting a good report card: $5.00

For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00

Total owed: $14.75

Well, his mother looked at him standing there, and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he’d written on, and this is what she wrote:

For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me: No Charge

For all the nights that I’ve sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you: No Charge

For all the trying times, and all the tears that you’ve caused through the years: No Charge

For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead: No Charge

For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge

Son, when you add it up, the cost of my love is: No Charge.

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said, “Mom, I sure do love you.” And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: “PAID IN FULL”